A Biter in Our Midst { To Bite or Not To Bite }

This cute little face. She really is our little bundle of cuteness, tickles and fun. While Amelie may be our pride, little Jessie is just pure joy (well mostly to both of those statements). An easy, sweet, but  shy personality who has quickly grown from our little baby into a moving, emptying the contents of my drawers toddler.

Jessie has eased her way in to our family in her role as the "poor" second child. Happily pottering around the house, exploring all of it's nooks, crannies and objects. She is always occupying herself. Her inquisitive fingers searching out the smallest of things to work and move. To empty.

This girl has learnt the art of adaptability. Moving past the scratching attack phase when she was a baby that was Amelie's desperate need for my attention. To winning over her sisters love and desire for attention by laughing and smiling at her funny dances and ways. Yes this girl is not silly.

But along with this adaptability has come the art of speed. While she may have been surefooted for some time, she now has speed. A running attempt at keeping her big sister from sntaching (again) the toys that she was happily playing with just a moment ago, from out of her hands.

There's only so much a girl can take. Even one with such a sweet nature. Before she bites back in frustration, literally. Yes we have a biter, and a very good one at that. While I don't like it, I can empathise. Amelie's constant snatching of toys from Jessie, and complete unwillingness to share makes me bite in the talking too loud kind of way also.

It brings back memories of my youngest brother, a prolific biter in his toddler years. I recall my parents constant no's, and tellings off that came to nothing. That was until the day my brother made the mistake of biting me in front of my Nanna while she was babysitting us. She'd heard about all of this biting, but hadn't witnessed it for herself. She did what a lot of old school sorts would have done, she bit him back, straight on the arm. I'll never forget it. And clearly neither did my brother. Who never bit another person ever again.

Mum was furious. Nanna was indignant. She felt she'd done Mum a favour, doing what should have been done already. All this biting in my house gets me thinking about the huge difference in parenting styles between our generation and my grandparents generation. My Nanna's one of the loveliest people that you would ever meet, with a great sense of humour in all parts of her life, but she certainly was a no-nonsense type when it came to discipline.

I could never see myself biting one of my children. But I can't help but wonder as I'm pulling a lunging biting child of her older sister whilst passing toys back to their rightful owner at the same time, am I doing this right?

All this makes me think of this quote we've all seen floating around Facebook and the web.

Discipline is so fuzzy to me sometimes. So many rights and wrongs. Reports and studies. I've read my stuff. I love Dr Laura Markham's book "Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids" and her AHA parenting website. I'd like to think I know my shit. And yet I'm still confused between what I know worked in the last two generations of our family and what I know isn't accepted now as ideal discipline.

In the words of my Mum "parenting was easier when there were no rules and all these books telling you what you should and shouldn't be doing." (Let me just say now we had a good childhood and were not in any way over disciplined in a physical manner. Just in case you were wondering).

So while I break up another tussle of who's toy is mine and belongs to whom to prevent any biting from going on tell me.

Are you an old school or a new school type of discipliner?
Listen to your Nanna's advice or over-think yourself with all the books and should nots that are out there?