Monday 17 March 2014

Doing Less and A Girls Only Picnic By the Sea Shore




A lazy weekend. One spent mostly on our own while my husband was away on a boy's camping trip. There was a time when my husband worked fly in fly out from Perth. Leaving me with our daughter, then eventually our two daughters, every second week.

Now that my youngest Jessie is older, I no longer feel daunted by caring for our two on my own. Despite this, the same old worried feelings that I often felt when my husband was working away, crept back in. What was I going to do on my lonesome to keep these two entertained? Even with a morning spent at the local pool with a friend, it left plenty of empty time to fill.

What I have learnt from similar anxious feelings like this. That when you have a strong urge to do more, often the best choice is to do less. What could have been a weekend full of outings and catch ups with friends to get us out of the house, became something completely the opposite.

We baked. We ate what we had in the fridge and cupboards. We played. I kept things simple; meals, activities and expectations of myself. I didn't rush through the household chores. I stayed in my pyjamas for longer than I would normally. We just did less.

And what I found. More calm moments. More stillness. More concentration in the girls play. Less tantrums and end of day raggedy behaviour.

It all reminds me of conversations had with my Nanna and my Mum. About times past, where not everybody drove cars, and trips out of the house with children were weekly ventures. Not daily rushed affairs to get out the door to dance lessons, play group. music and other such things. While the boredom of that type of living seems stifling to me, I can see the positives in it. More chances for children to just be. To play in their own little world. 

The truth, that sometimes that need to be social and busy, is more our own, and not our children's. Before this weekend I wouldn't have considered us to be "over-scheduled" in regards to the girls planned activities. But now I can't help but wonder if we might be. Just a little. 

Our afternoon trip to the "sea shore". Imagined and created by Amelie. A bike ride to the shops to collect food for our picnic. A rug to stop the sand from spoiling our food. Talk in hushed tones due to a nearby sleeping baby. Endless cups of tea. It was delightful.



































Do you find doing less makes parenting easier?
Or are your children better when they're kept a little busy?

14 comments:

  1. What a lovely post. My husband works weekends and I used to find the time alone with the kids daunting, especially the lack of schedule and routine when they were smaller. But now I like it and we often do very little. We potter around and they play. But sometimes it does all descend into chaos and we have to put our shoes on and go out to the park or something! x

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    1. I love a day at home pottering, but yes, children don't always enjoy it quite as much!!!

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  2. I don't have children...yet.. so I can't really comment. But as an adult, I know that I get grumpy if I over-extend myself and have expectations of flitting about town all day and getting lots of things done. I never get everything I want to get done, done. So, I think I just need to move the goal posts and focus more in my own play. Thank you for having us at your 'beachside' picnic. It was delightful.

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    1. It's true, days like that can be chaotic and exhausting as an adult, and we can regulate our own emotions! Imagine how overwhelmed it must feel for a toddler! x

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  3. Really gorgeous post Carla. As you know we don't have kids yet so can't comment on that bit. But I do remember being that age and absolutely loving the long days at home with my sisters, playing in our jungle of a garden or just doing having really simple outings. I actually preferred that than constantly 'doing stuff'' when I was little! We were always coming up with ways to amuse ourselves. Tea party picnic looks sweet :) xx

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    1. It's a great skill to learn, how to amuse yourself with very little x

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  4. A nice post and I know the feeling, especially this week. My husband has been working late hours, and all day yesterday, on Saturday. My normally very happy babe is going through a bit of a demanding, very busy stage at the moment, and it has been a very long week. Some days we are home without a car and it seems the day drags on forever. But I then have to remind myself how lucky I am that I am able to be home with her all day, with 'nothing' to do but manage the household, and I am lucky. Dealing with her tantrums is better than dealing with an angry client at work or sitting in traffic.

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    1. Katie I agree whole-heartedly. We are lucky to be able to spend most of our time with our young children and not having to juggle a home and work life balance x

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  5. I love pottering around at home more than lots of outings during the week, I always tell my husband I was born in the wrong era! But it can make for long days when you are a stay-at-home Mum. My two eldest are at school full-time now and they get so tired so we try to keep other commitments to a minimum. Super cute photos by the way, nothing better than a tea party :-)

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  6. oh my goodness...me too, can i come to the beach, and go to the shops, and go 'shhh' with the sleeping baby?.
    I've realised lately that I don't 'play'with trouble the way I should, the way I would like to. I've realised that some games you actually have to encourage, teach, like leading the way with imaginative play. I wish I had more time with Trouble to do so. We read, we sit and do puzzles and painting, but the imaginative play...I think I need to stimulate that a little..reach into my own bank of play memories.
    The lessons we mama's must learn hey..

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    1. I know, there are so many little things. I find if I suggest one thing then it leads to a whole new story. All I did here was ask Amelie where are you going on your bike with all that food? Is it a picnic? and then she went from there!

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  7. This sounds like the perfect weekend! :)
    I find that doing less is hard, but necessary! x

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  8. I have taken a massive step down in my expectations at home with my girls since returning to work. Is it around with them more. Bake, play, chat, nap. It is marvellous. I think it took part time work to give me permission to work less at home! xx

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